I was sitting during the lesson, listening to my students’ presentation and grading them. I received a message that there was a problem with my task I should have submitted a week earlier, but due to the miscommunication and my incompetency, I couldn’t get it approved in time.
Time is ticking and I was getting anxious. I felt myself stuck in that position, unable to leave the room to work on the problem immediately. I knew what is coming for me. I can feel the energy coming.
Before I knew it, I was shaking and my heart was faster. I started sweating and I felt like bursting out crying. I knew I have to swallow it in because I am surrounded with my students and I must not have a breakdown in front of them.
I had always run to the bathroom whenever I am losing control of my emotion but I had no way out today. I spent the whole 3 hours fighting against myself while giving my best grading my students’ presentation.
I left the room feeling like throwing myself on the floor and just lie down… but I can’t possibly do that in such a public place so I dragged my foot with every strength I have and walked for 10 minutes to reach my room.
I hate myself so much, for my failure. This is my first task and I failed it hard.
At least I have learnt my lesson.
I will not make the same mistake again.
I will not. I promise myself.
eugenary 