The height of the piling up stress and pressure is certainly higher now that we reached our 10th week at school. I still could not believe myself as I see the figure ’10’ in my computer folder and I was reminded that I have been here for two months and I am left with more or less 6 more week before I can say ‘adios’ to my practicum life.
Who would have thought having a few more weeks to finish up this practicum is actually heavier than the first time we started teaching. The first month was stressing because we had to deal with the students, the second month was stressing because we had to deal with a lot of observations and this third month is stressing me out because I have so many responsibilities I need to put my heads and efforts on. My reputation depends on it, my practicum life depends on it, our image as newcomers depends on it, the way teachers here are looking at us depends on this, and the satisfaction we need to let the administrators feel depends on this too.
I wake up with anxiety with contemplation whether I can finish this on time and problem-free or faces hurdles all around the month. I have six things I need to get done by this month and I blame myself for being weak.
However, lazing around and sleeping will not solve my problem. I have many things I need to get done so the most important thing is to be able to manage them systematically.
First of all, I need to finish the ‘Garden of Idioms’ within next week. It is an easy job, I just need to write the idioms in a Word document, print it, and then laminate it at the office. Then, I can hang it around the garden and *poof* done one job.
Then, I need to make sure my students are ready every Thursday to perform in front of the assembly crowd for English Day. Honestly, there were no performers for weeks so they throw it away on us for the remaining weeks we have left in this school. I don’t really mind. All I need to do is make sure the students go on the stage and say something in English and that will be it. *poof* another job done.
Then, also starting next week, I need to ensure I relay the three competitions we have to handle within the month to the involved students.
Now that I listed them down like this, next week is a lot of work…
Last Thursday, I was sitting in the teacher’s room with cold sweat and hands trembling. I almost cried because I could not take the pressure. After the last class I have to teach was done, I was immediately energized and planned for the works. I think I can go through this.
six more weeks… six more weeks…